Maury and Silvia Goldberg are sitting in their retirement community in South Florida...

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Maury and Silvia Goldberg are sitting in their retirement community in South Florida one evening when Silvia turns to Maury and says, "Honey, I would really love some ice cream. Would you mind running to the grocery store to pick me up a pint of vanilla?"

Maury pats her on the hand. "Of course my Silvia. I'll be back soon." And off he goes in their Oldsmobile to the grocer. A few minutes later Silvia decides to turn on the local channel.

"This is Kurt McMaster with breaking news. There is currently a deranged man driving on the streets of South Florida into oncoming traffic. We are urging all drivers and pedestrians to get off of the roads as quickly as possible until this situation is resolved!"

Silvia gets up, takes out her Jitterbug phone, and calls Maury.

"Maury darling! You have to get off the road. There is a madman driving into oncoming traffic!"

"Silvia, you aren't going to believe this. There are hundreds of them!"

submitted by /u/Ginkery
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