U
/u/Ruth_Goose12
For context, I brought home the male kitten when he was about three months old, maybe a little younger. I did a slow introduction, separate rooms, scent swapping etc, and for the first month they seemed to be becoming friends- playing constantly (no hissing, growling or other signs of aggression), groomed and occasionally slept together. Then, abruptly, it just started going downhill. My older cat would growl a bit during play which I thought was just a warning because the little one was being too rough, but it happened more and more often and I began to have to separate them. Then she started hissing and growling at his approach, then simply at his existence, and nowadays she will go out of her way to attack him, lunging across the room when he is minding his own business. She doesn't seem to actually be hurting him, but he has started to avoid her (not always, he's still a dumb kitten and does things like scaring the shit out of her by jumping on her back, to which her displeasure is warranted, I think). Furthermore, she began peeing on things, quilts, towels, rugs, jackets, and the floor- I can't let her in my bedroom anymore in case she pees on the new carpet (it's a rental), which also probably doesn't help, since she used to sleep with my every night. She also growls and hisses at me and my brother, which had never happened before, she had always been the sweetest girl, loved to be held. Now I'm lucky to hold her for 30 seconds without being growled and hissed at.
Now for what I've tried, yes, I took her to the vet. They ran tests and found nothing. They put her on pregabalin 25mg (split in half, dosed morning and night). It seemed to be working, but the efficacy seems to have quickly diminished and now two weeks later things are nearly as bad as before.
Feliway spray- I've tried it all through the house, on a collar, it seems to have zero effect.
Feliway multicat diffuser- I think it may have been helping, however I walked past it after a couple weeks and could smell burning and there was either vapour or smoke coming from it, and I no longer felt safe having it in the house ( and neither did the rest of the houses inhabitants).
They have four litter boxes in entirely separate parts of the house, only one of which are covered and two of which are extra large, and the peeing has occurred even when she's standing next to a clean one.
I bought more cat trees, more toys. Unfortunately the older cat has lost all interest in toys since I brought him home (she sometimes still likes a good game of chase though, she hasn't lost all her playfulness).
I've tried separating them, but if I put the kitten in another room he cries so loudly that the older cat paces and hisses and growls in response, and it can go for hours on end, which is stressful for all of us and sets the dog off barking (we live in a house split into two, so the neighbours are just through the wall). If I stay with the kitten, everyone is quiet but I get to spend no time with my older girl and I feel awful for abandoning her.
The odd thing is, she occasionally initiates play with him, and they roll around quietly for a minute or so before growling, then yowling and swiping and other aggression breaks out (from her, not him). She also grooms him sometimes, and they eat together just fine for the most part.
I've ordered some pheromone collars to try as a last ditch effort, and have considered asking the vet about a different medication since the pregabalin seemed to work at first (she was sweet and playful, cuddly, hardly hissing or growling, it felt like I had my girl back).
If anyone has any ideas, even if they're out of the box, I'd love to hear them. I would never want to rehome either of my cats, and even though I'm sure the kitten would settle well anywhere (he is a lovely, gentle giant, super sweet and friendly, and every non-cat person that meets him loves him), even so, it would break my heart placing him with a new family.
I'm tired though, I feel so stressed by the constant aggression, that I'm no longer enjoying the experience of having cats, I just feel like crying most the time and like I'm no longer able to be as patient as I should be, and it hasn't even been that long-- I've read stories on here of people that have been doing this for years, and that just sounds miserable for all of us. Especially my older cat, she can't be happy at the moment. I yelled at her last night because she peed on an expensive puzzle I was working on, and I feel terrible that I lost my temper when she needs me to be patient with her, it's not her fault.
What else can I try? Are reintroductions ever successful? I've considered it but it would be very very difficult, the kitten doesn't do well with being left alone, among other reasons, and most stories I've read on here have found reintroductions pretty unhelpful when they were done correctly in the first place.
submitted by /u/Ruth_Goose12
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
Now for what I've tried, yes, I took her to the vet. They ran tests and found nothing. They put her on pregabalin 25mg (split in half, dosed morning and night). It seemed to be working, but the efficacy seems to have quickly diminished and now two weeks later things are nearly as bad as before.
Feliway spray- I've tried it all through the house, on a collar, it seems to have zero effect.
Feliway multicat diffuser- I think it may have been helping, however I walked past it after a couple weeks and could smell burning and there was either vapour or smoke coming from it, and I no longer felt safe having it in the house ( and neither did the rest of the houses inhabitants).
They have four litter boxes in entirely separate parts of the house, only one of which are covered and two of which are extra large, and the peeing has occurred even when she's standing next to a clean one.
I bought more cat trees, more toys. Unfortunately the older cat has lost all interest in toys since I brought him home (she sometimes still likes a good game of chase though, she hasn't lost all her playfulness).
I've tried separating them, but if I put the kitten in another room he cries so loudly that the older cat paces and hisses and growls in response, and it can go for hours on end, which is stressful for all of us and sets the dog off barking (we live in a house split into two, so the neighbours are just through the wall). If I stay with the kitten, everyone is quiet but I get to spend no time with my older girl and I feel awful for abandoning her.
The odd thing is, she occasionally initiates play with him, and they roll around quietly for a minute or so before growling, then yowling and swiping and other aggression breaks out (from her, not him). She also grooms him sometimes, and they eat together just fine for the most part.
I've ordered some pheromone collars to try as a last ditch effort, and have considered asking the vet about a different medication since the pregabalin seemed to work at first (she was sweet and playful, cuddly, hardly hissing or growling, it felt like I had my girl back).
If anyone has any ideas, even if they're out of the box, I'd love to hear them. I would never want to rehome either of my cats, and even though I'm sure the kitten would settle well anywhere (he is a lovely, gentle giant, super sweet and friendly, and every non-cat person that meets him loves him), even so, it would break my heart placing him with a new family.
I'm tired though, I feel so stressed by the constant aggression, that I'm no longer enjoying the experience of having cats, I just feel like crying most the time and like I'm no longer able to be as patient as I should be, and it hasn't even been that long-- I've read stories on here of people that have been doing this for years, and that just sounds miserable for all of us. Especially my older cat, she can't be happy at the moment. I yelled at her last night because she peed on an expensive puzzle I was working on, and I feel terrible that I lost my temper when she needs me to be patient with her, it's not her fault.
What else can I try? Are reintroductions ever successful? I've considered it but it would be very very difficult, the kitten doesn't do well with being left alone, among other reasons, and most stories I've read on here have found reintroductions pretty unhelpful when they were done correctly in the first place.
submitted by /u/Ruth_Goose12
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...
